Five for Fighting – 100 Years

December 31, 2007

Lyrics after the fold Read the rest of this entry »

Baby Batter Battle Bots

December 30, 2007

From CBC News: 

Scientists are examining whether they can harness the energy driving human sperm to propel nano-scale robots or deliver medicine to targeted sites in the body.

fly my pretties

The biggest problem is the nano-staples keep falling out of the miniature porn mags. 

The Solution for Your Cat, Who Sucks

December 26, 2007

Cats suck, water wet, world round, etc…

Is this really a common problem, cat owners? 

If they’re not shredding your couch or totally ignoring you, they are probably sucking on your blankets.

Cats suck canal water on blankets?  The devil you say.  I know; let’s give them something that it is OK to suck.  On. 


This Catsifier™ should help your blanket problem…it may even minimize the couch shredding, but as for the ignoring…sorry, you’re on your own.

I’m sorry too.  I can’t imagine why your cat would ignore you in favor of sucking on one of these: Read the rest of this entry »

Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses

December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas to all my pretend internet friends. 

World Orgasm Day

December 21, 2007
Big O

Sorry for the short late notice, but apparently we are supposed to screw for whirred peas tonight. 

People across the world — but especially in countries with “weapons of mass destruction and places where violence is used in place of medication” — are being asked to synchronize their orgasms, according to the group’s Web site.

This group session of sexual healing, aka The Big O, is designed to be an “instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spirtual (sic) energy” that organizers hope will reduce levels of violence, hatred and fear around the world during this, the longest night of the year.

The Global O’s website is here, with countdown clock.  Let’s get busy people! 

Fred! Gets Some Much Needed Press Coverage

December 20, 2007

Finally, Reuters comes out with a well balanced and thought provoking article on Fred Thompson.  I’ve added emphasis to what I call ‘action words’ in the article, to make it extra energetic;  just like Fred!

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa (Reuters) – For Republican Fred Thompson, the former actor turned reluctant politician, the first few months of his floundering bid to be U.S. president were just a warm-up act. Now it is showtime.

After a late start, poor reviews for a lackluster campaign and a slide in opinion polls sending him behind several rivals, he says he is ready to make his move in Iowa.

Can you feel it?  Are you as jazzed as I am right now?

The last thing you see before you die

But wait!  The ‘action word’ bag isn’t quite empty yet!  Let’s dig a little deeper and see what else we can pull out of there, shall we? 

Thompson has been falling in polls since his delayed entry in September and a series of campaign-trail gaffes. He has been criticized for spending too little time campaigning. Some days, his entire schedule consists of a few call-in radio shows.  But a strong showing in Iowa after months of neglect could give Thompson new momentum.

Yep, here we go…Fred! is really starting to get some traction in the MSM, a few more stories like this should vault him right to the top in Iowa. 

Hey…well would you look at that?  I seem to have bitten my own tongue off.  

Awesomest Christmas Pageant Evah

December 20, 2007

Reason #2978 for Home Schooling.

HIGH POINT, N.C. (WGHP) — An apparent ongoing dispute between three parents erupted into a physical fight at an elementary school’s Christmas program Tuesday night.

 In the account, Roberts writes that chairs were thrown, obscenities were yelled and three mothers physically punched each other while two other mothers attempted to break up the fight.

Remember kids, obscenities make Baby Jesus cry, but throwing chairs tends to really piss him off. 

Not very exciting home-video.