Tackle (the family dog) has a conversation with Sandy the Roomba.
Sandy – You sure do leave a lot of hair on the floor.
Sandy – And dog food, too.
Tackle – Who the hell do you think YOU are?
Sandy – I’m Mrs. Pupster’s Christmas Present.
Tackle – That doesn’t mean JACK in this pack. Pupster’s Alpha pack leader, I’m next in line. You’re somewhere between the X-Box 360 and the washing machine.
Sandy – Isn’t Mrs. Pupster second in command?
Tackle – Are you kidding? Have you seen the way she loves on me and grooms me? Brings me food and puts ice cubes in my water bowl? She’s Omega. I might let her be Alpha female, once I make my move.
Sandy – Make your move?
Tackle – Don’t you know anything? To keep the pack strong, the Beta male has to challenge the Alpha at the first sign of weakness.
*Pupster moves from stage right to stage left, limping heavily and muttering under his breath*
Tackle – Won’t be long now.
Tackle – Look, you’ll be fine, everyone will move up a spot, including you. But, you better keep your eye on the mop, he’s gunning for you.