“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

April 16, 2006

Henry David Thoreau, “Walden”, 1854US

I am 39 today. Thirty-nine. I never thought I would see 40 when I was a teenager. I participated in many personally destructive behaviors in my younger days. My excuses where varied, from “Atomic War will kill us all anyway” to “live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse”.

Getting married and having kids changed everything about my perspective. It’s only in highly reflective times (like birthdays) that I recall the teenager who used to be in charge. I’m a grown up now, but the inner teen still tries to break out.

I don’t have any big insights into this situation, I have been in the grasp of a mid-life crisis for about 18 months. Sometimes it seems ludicrous that I’m the grown up. Sometimes (like this morning) I feel like I’m 90 years old.