I Don’t Know Sir…I’m an Idiot

I had an “I’m an idiot” moment yesterday.  My car performs a “vacuum system diagnostic test” periodically, and according the mechanic (there’s $200 I’ll never get back) if the gas cap is not cranked down very tight, the test fails and turns on the check engine light.  It never failed to piss me off when the light came on, so after a few tests and resets, I just ignored the light on my dashboard, as is my way.

I had an appointment to get the car appraised for trade-in, so after I pulled the negative cable off the battery to reset the light, I wanted to let it sit for a few minutes to make sure I got a good purge of the bad mojo.  I didn’t want to take my hand tools back into my office, so I pushed the trunk release button on the key chain remote to put the tools in there. 

No ka-chunk.  I pushed it again…nothing.  I proceeded to have about a 10 second temper tantrum, where I swore on all that was holy I would cut this damn P.O.S. car into tiny pieces, eat the pieces, and crap in the junk-yard for a week.  Then it dawned on me; I had JUST DISCONNECTED THE BATTERY and electronic releases don’t work without any power.  *sigh*

Anyway, it reminded me of the following (long and unremarkable) personal story about being an idiot.

PUP My Ride 2 – Still Shopping

I expect to get the run-around while car shopping.  I expect to not find what I want, and to be pressured into buying what they have versus what I’m looking for. I expect to make and take multiple phone calls to the dealerships in a vain effort to not take it up the butt, car-wise.

I test drove a bunch of new cars, and started playing a few salesmen against each other just for fun and to mess with their heads.  I still haven’t decided what to buy, so pretty much any pressure they try to apply just slides right off.   

I told the Nissan guy after a test drive that the X-Terra wouldn’t fit in my garage next to Mrs. Pupster’s full size van.  (It really does fit, but I told him that she is “parking challenged” and needs lots of room.)  He spent a good 10 minutes trying to talk me into parking in my driveway.  

Nissan Salesman:  “Your not giving me anything to work with here Pupster…how can I get you into this X-Terra today?  I can’t overcome the garage size issue…really, I’m stumped. 

Pupster:  Uh-huh.  It’s a toughy… 

Nissan Salesman:  Seriously, help me out, what can I do to make this deal happen?” 

Pupster:  Dude, it doesn’t fit.  It’s a nice truck, really…I like it.  But I’m going across the street and test drive a RAV 4, the Internets tells me it’s 4 inches narrower.     

Heh.

I had already built a Toyota RAV4 on-line, so I insisted to the nice Toyota saleslady that I HAD to have an option that I KNEW she didn’t have on the lot.  She spent about 10 minutes trying to convince me that options don’t really matter, what I really, really should do is buy the prettiest color…that she has.

Toyota Saleslady:  This RAV4 has traction control and this is a limited run paint color; “White Pearl”…look how it sparkles!  Women LOVE this color.  It’s sooo much nicer than the plain white.  Why, I’ve had customers turn down a BETTER DEAL on a white RAV 4 for one with the pearlized paint!”

Pupster:  Well, it is REALLY pretty, I’ll grant you that.   But, seriously, I just cannot buy a RAV4 without (chrome exhaust pipe extensions).  It’s a deal breaker.  I’m sorry.  It’s just how I am.  The X-Terra has (chrome exhaust pipe extensions) you know.  Standard.

I’m still shopping around, trying to find the new Pupstermobile.  Right now I’m still undecided on what to buy, and I’m looking at last years gently used models to try and save a few bucks.  It’s harder to mess with the old hands on the used car lot, but they are also typically less high pressure.  Stay tuned.

Killswitch Engage – My Curse

Lyrics after the fold

Hairballs

I was searching for Spongebob clip on youtube (don’t judge me) and I ran across this short cartoon called Hairballs.  It’s NSFW for some language,  I had no idea the average house-cat was so coarse.  It starts pretty slow, but gets much, much better when the other house-cat roommates show up.    

Hairballs was created by Mr. Lawrence, who, if you believe everything you read on the internet, is a writer and the voice of Plankton for the Spongebob Squarepants series, and has a long history of animation work including some of my favorite cartoons, Rocko’s Modern Life and Ren and Stimpy.

Mr. Lawrence is also featured in this (too long by half) meat-world short film about his life as “The Voice” of Plankton.  Again, NSFW for language. 

Have a Drink On Me *updated*

Monday, April 16th is my 40th Birthday.  I had not planned on making a big deal of it, and unless everyone else I know has suddenly developed super-secret ninja skills, no one else is going to make a big deal of it either. 

 I’ll be stopping by the liquor store on my way home from work and purchasing the oldest bottle of scotch I can afford which is reasonably priced, then I’ll grill out some steaks if the weather holds. 

I’d like to invite all my pretend internet friends to have a drink in honor of my minor milestone on Monday evening. 

So, if you are able, live-comment yourself consuming your favorite adult beverage, push play on the video below,  and raise a toast…to me. 

“Don’t worry ’bout tomorrow, take it today!  Forget about the check, we’ll get hell to pay…Have a drink on me!”

Thanks. 

Fun and frivolity after the fold.